Self-Direction Is A Process

When people think about self-directed learning, some of the first thoughts are that no kid will actually want to work. The assumption is that they will “slack off” or “hang around” never getting into anything meaningful. The evaluation of what is meaningful work can be heavy in people’s minds. 

The self-directed kids and teens I meet are anything but slackers. They’re keen, aware and sharp. When I see the depth that some teens dive into with their interests, I forget that they’re maybe 14 or 15 years old. The level of commitment is inspiring and infectious! 

But self-direction doesn’t just happen once you leave school. There’s a process, a kind of “recovery” period or what we call a “de-schooling period” in the self-directed world. This is when one exhales and sits with the time they have without someone directing their time. It can be a weird space for some kids to be in. There’s a school schedule, and they’re directed on how to run their day…and now they decide for themselves?! Some feel inspired by this, some feel daunted, and some frankly feel confused. The general rule is that for every year of schooling that someone has been through, they need at least a month of de-schooling. This is why the sooner one embraces self-directed learning, the better. So it’s easy to expect that an eighth-grader would need a minimum of 10 months to get their bearings in a self-directed space. 10 months would be the earliest to see inspiration start to take hold. 10 months to allow their brain to start thinking for itself, to let go of the need for evaluation and external praise. 10 months to settle into who they are and trust their interests and abilities. 

Then slowly, the unfolding begins. Interests start to be dabbled with. An openness to trying new things without judging themselves begins to take shape. I’ve seen teens go from sitting on a couch plucking a few ukulele strings to full-on playing guitar and piano within a year to accompany their singing. Or putting together a few toy models shifts to creating the model parts and creating bigger and more complex scenes and models. Kids interested in figuring out how to lift weights shifts to learning nutrition and macros, weight lifting and researching to become personal trainers. There’s no predictor of what interest will take hold, but once it does, off they go!  

Allowing any interest to expand is key. Not challenging them on what is being learned and how this will contribute to their future career prospects but just trusting that it’s all learning and it’s all good. Life is such a twisty-windy road that many adults have travelled to arrive at what they love. Kids should be afforded that same twisty-path to discover their interests. Once we get out of the way, kids will dive deep. Humans want to learn and grow and expand. Teens are no exception.