Is My Kid Self-Directed Enough?

Using your senses only, without the school-y voice in your head, you need to see, hear and feel what they are learning.

When parents first hear of Self-Directed Learning Centres, many of their first thoughts are, “Well, my kid isn’t self-directed.” I typically challenge that and say, “Have they ever had the chance for a significant amount of time - at least a year to self-direct?” For parents to lean into self-directed learning, there may be a new level of trust that needs to be considered. But this can be overcome by parents doing their homework, reading and learning everything about self-directed learning (there is so much on our resources page, we’ve got your back!), de-schooling yourself and challenging that internal voice that says, “Ah! They’re not learning!”. If you’re evaluating your child against their peers, looking to a teacher or outside adult to tell you your child is progressing, then there’s more work to do. Self-direction is a mindset. It’s a Growth Mindset. 

When youth are given freedom for their whole day, they will explore. And when there’s no judgement involved, they will eventually latch onto something and dive deeper. It’s inevitable. It’s the same idea as day-dreaming. Allowing your mind to wander, and then suddenly you’re hit with something, and you start digging a little further. Time is invaluable in the self-directed world. They also need time to play. But what does “play” mean for a teen? It could literally look like play - running around, being silly, jumping around a play structure, but it also means using the tools adults use. Not dumbed-down versions of things but the real technology. It means opening apps and exploring, checking out various computer editing programs and noodling around. Trying random musical instruments, flipping through books. This is valuable, and this is how a teen plays. From that play comes ideas and flitting moments that might catch hold. Self-direction is developing trust in yourself that you’re capable and able to learn and grow independently. This is not only reserved for adults who have graduated high school or university - it’s a mindset to dig in and to learn to trust yourself.  

So then, how DO you evaluate if your child is learning when they’re at a self-directed learning centre? What you need to be looking at is their happiness, their laughter, how much they smile, the sparkle in their eye. It would help if you listened to their energy when they talk about their day or the new thing they discovered. Listen for the sped-up talk that excites them about what they’re working on. Using your senses only, without the school-y voice in your head, you need to see, hear and feel what they are learning. And that takes trust. But the trust has to be developed in the parents and adults, not an expectation that your child will prove they’re trustworthy to learn. When you’ve seen youth’s interests take hold and grow and their whole disposition change when they talk about what they’re doing, it’s the most inspiring thing to witness. 

Check out my Resources page for more information on self-direction and alternative learning. Passages will also be hosting regular group discussions to help parents work through what self-direction is, fears, overcoming that internal dialogue and how to support your child..