What If You Trusted Yourself?

A recent video by Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed, asked the question, “What would you do if you trust yourself?” She then added, “I want my children never to have to learn to be untamed because they’ve never been tamed in the first place.” This deeply resonated with me and is what I hope for the young people who come through Passages – space where they can be themselves and sink in deeper to the comfort of who THEY are. 

Let me be clear, “untamed” doesn’t mean unruly, law-breaking, rude and disrespectful. Untamed means letting go of the voice that “should’s” us into not being our true selves. That voice from schools, parents, doctors, family, neighbours. The voice that takes you from your heart to your head and halts momentum.

So I want to ask again…What would you do if you trusted yourself? 

More baking, art, hiking, writing, playing? Honouring your spark of curiosity without judgment?

One step before that is how we learn to trust ourselves or how we can cultivate an environment for youth to take risks and build that trust.

That is the challenge and beauty of a self-directed learning space. Self-directed learning is tricky; on the surface, it looks easy–just do what you enjoy, but with that can come the societal pressures of producing something. That push to turn what you love and enjoy into something money-making pulls young people’s minds to the “shoulds” instead of the “what-if!” mindset. 

Being able to help youth (and their parents!) untangle the “producing” mindset and just enter into a space of curiosity to explore and engage is what we work to achieve at Passages. The narrowing of focus toward a career will enter into the picture later as interests deepen and become more central in a young person’s life. This means until then, adults can support kids’ “untamed learning” by entering into conversations about interests with genuine curiosity. Asking them to share their skills and learnings with others with similar interests and recognizing the brave moments when they take a deep breath and go forward: small or bold steps, both are important. The building of trusting yourself doesn’t come from the large completed projects that are finally on display, polished and glossy. And it isn’t from the moment on stage after months of work and finally, performing the finished piece. Trusting yourself comes from everyday dabbling and trying. It’s picking up the guitar one day, but your fingers are messing up every chord, or your hands are cramping too early, then trying again the next day. It’s recognizing that skills come with practice–talent plays a small piece. Learning to trust yourself comes when you’re in a space that supports trying and making mistakes or even giving up only to go back and try again without judgement.

Passages works to provide the space to trust ourselves in all the quietness, quirkiness, loud or energetic, introspective or gregarious. That’s what it’s all about. It’s all good stuff, and the world needs it all.